Saturday, April 17, 2010

clever clogs

My office is an unofficial branch of MENSA. I am surrounded by people who know everything there is to know about science, technology, economics... you name it. They are, in a nutshell, incredibly fucking clever. I think the least educated of all of them has a PhD in nuclear physics.

On paper, I am one of their peers. Unbelievably some people genuinely believe this. Just last week a PR sent me a press release about developments in the heady world of quantum cryptography. Whatever the hell that is.

The sad reality is that I'm a lowly arts graduate who has somehow landed among them. I am always asking them stuff - stuff they probably learned at the age of nine. Stuff that, without the aid of Google and Bing, I wouldn't even be able to spell.

They have journals, research papers and computer chips on their desks. I have a wind-up penguin and a mug bearing the slogan "help - feed me chocolate".

However, there's one thing that even I understand. I've seen Avenue Q - the internet was created for porn. So when I stumbled upon a story involving porn, blackmail and the web, I knew I was onto a winner.

It's caused quite a stir, for which I am proud. Much more interesting than quantum whateveritwas, no?