Friday, November 30, 2007

Happy birthday dad.

Rest in peace xx

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Brief encounters

Yesterday I met an agnostic Rabbi, a rural Vicar with a taste for adventure and a friend I hadn't seen for ten years. It's so refreshing to mix with different people once in a while. Exhausting and quite crazy, but ultimately good food for the soul.

The agnostic Rabbi is rapidly becoming a bit of a spiritual mentor for me. He absolutely fascinates me. I have long believed in fate, but not God. He, I suspect, believes in neither, but he absolutely passionately believes in people. The rural vicar is the same. He spent three weeks living in isolation in a cave in Egypt to reflect the story of St Antony (please don't ask me what that was) and said that what he learned was that, having always believed that he liked his own company, he actually loved other people more. I can relate to that - but I don't feel the need to live in a cave for three weeks to prove the point.

The old friend has had a fucked up 2007 rather like the rest of us. She is a very free spirit, and people tend to take advantage of that. She told me that J, an ex-boyfriend of mine from university days, is now in prison doing a ten year stretch - he was caught with 2kg of cocaine. Clever boy.

Funnily enough I randomly looked him up on Facebook three days ago. No wonder I couldn't find him. He always liked his recreationals and was a small time dealer when we hooked up so I guess he decided to make a career out of it. There's more money in barbiturates than there is in barwork, unfortunately. I feel a bit sorry for him actually. As unhinged as he was, he had a lot of sadness in his life. It's funny to think about how life can turn out, isn't it?

Thursday, November 22, 2007

the great chocolate sauce experiment

Things I have learned in the last 24 hours:

1. Experimenting with ice cream topping as impromptu body paint does not work. In fact it results in a sticky mess, it's incredibly difficult to lick off and it's far too sweet to consume in any quantity without being overwhelmed by nausea. The only cure is...

2. decent lingerie and an expensive pair of knee high boots. These are absolutely foolproof.

I told MC about this blog last night. I've been debating whether or not to send him the link for a while now - while on the one hand I don't like having secrets from him, on the other, this is very much my domain and everybody needs their own bit of space, right? So I told him, primarily about the old blog and how it came to an end, and then I fessed up about this place, its sequel. He didn't ask for the address and I didn't volunteer it but at some stage I think I will. In fact he had only one request: can I please refer to him as my Enormous-Cocked Boyfriend.


Wednesday, November 21, 2007

new hair

Last week, on the spur of the moment, I decided on a new 'do. I am highly unadventurous with my hair and have had the same style for about ten years. The colour may change by the look has remained constant - essentially a fringeless bob. So I don't know what possessed me, literally as I was sitting in the hairdresser's chair last week while she got out the scissors, to blurt out: 'what do you think I'd look like with a fringe?'

The hairdresser replied that it would be 'exciting'. My hairdresser and I were obviously not in the same place when excitement was meted out. 'Exciting' for me is riding rollercoasters in LA, or receiving expensive champagne from a mysterious admirer, or skinny dipping by moonlight in warmer climes than London. It is not cutting a straight line into the hair above my eyebrows.

Nonetheless the result is dramatic. Absolutely everybody has commented on it. Top tip: If you decide to take a long lunch hour and you need to sneak back in surreptitiously afterwards, do not return looking completely different from the way you did when you left. I may as well have entered my office sporting a Spiderman outfit and a handlebar moustache. Celebrity comparisons so far have included Betty Boo, Cleopatra and Mel C. I'm not quite sure how I feel about any of those but it's very entertaining to be creating such a stir.

Friday, November 16, 2007

pound of flesh, anyone?

Actually I'm afraid I don't think I have any left. After yet another gruelling 13 hour day at work my mother called, literally as I was walking out the door, wanting to talk to me for over an hour about my father's headstone and eventual stonesetting. She knows exactly what she wants, but she wants me to get the rabbi's approval. She also doesn't want to invite anyone to the stonesetting ceremony itself. And guess who will undoubtedly have the delight of delivering this particular concrete casserole to my father's circle?

Oh - and then there's going through dad's clothes, a heartbreaking chore that she understandably doesn't want to do on her own. In addition there's much concern about my grandmother, a wonderful 80-something who has developed a rather alarming habit of falling over a lot. So this morning I rang her to check in and arrange to see her.

My sister, for her own good reasons, appears to be dealing with the situation by avoiding the UK altogether. She will literally be spending four days here in six months. Which is great for her but less so for me who, on the other hand, cannot go beyond the M25 without feeling the most overwhelming sense of guilt and the tug of an ancient umbilical cord. She emailed me last night to tell me that she has acquired rather a large phonebill. Predictably this is related to MC, who has been using her mobile while she's out of the country. I am too tired to deal with this but of course, I'm going to have to.

My soul is exhausted.

UPDATE: after I wrote this I went to the loos to get myself together. When I got there I found a white feather on my jumper, which was definitely not there before. I don't usually believe all that business about white feathers being the calling cards of angels, but just for today, I think I will. I want to.

UPDATE 2: the phonebill was nothing to do with MC after all. I should really have more faith in the boy, shouldn't I?

Thursday, November 15, 2007


I was definitely not quite right yesterday, post head-bang. I forgot where I'd parked my car (hell, I even forgot that I'd actually driven into work) and had to keep re-reading stuff because I would literally forget it two seconds later (in my defence it was boring stuff). I feel a lot better today though. Head and neck still stiff but am far more with it.

Am not enjoying work at the moment. The editor is going through one of his will-not-let-go-of-a-story-even-though-it's-blatantly-dead-in-the-water moods. It is driving us all to drink.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

On Monday night I almost called time on MC. It was a very boring and middle class dispute over money - namely me paying for everything while he pleaded poverty, only for him to suddenly announce that he was going out drinking with his mate. I completely lost it. My ex and I used to throw lava lamps at each other when we rowed - and once he went one step further and threw me against a wall. MC was very calm and upset - and he didn't go for the drink. How things have changed.

Anyway we made up by getting absolutely hammered on free wine (so it doesn't count) at some press do last night. And then decided it would be great fun to go ice skating. I have never had problems on skates but on this occasion the pissedness overtook me and I just couldn't stand up. I was like Maggie Simpson on ice and cracked just about every surface of skin possible as I fell over repeatedly - including the back of my head. I am covered in bruises but I woke up in MC's arms this morning and realised just how smitten I am. He's a really lovely boy. With or without money.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Variety is the spice of life

This time two days ago I was sitting in a very decadent little club in Chancery Lane drinking champagne, eating finger-sliced cucumber sandwiches and scones and watching some excellent burlesque cabaret involving, among other things, peacock feathers and chocolate eclairs.

Afternoon Tease is just that - good old fashioned tea and cake with plenty of titilation thrown in. I wore my finest shoes - a black satin pair with bows at the back and vertiginous silver stilleto heels, courtesy of my lovely little sister. I felt fabulous. The girls were mesmerisingly sexy and the cakes were divine. The only slight fly in the ointment was the yummy new mummy to my right who spent 45 minutes telling me the story of her monstrous birth. On the other hand it was a wise reminder of the importance of remembering to take one's oral contraceptives, something I have been a tad laissez-faire about lately, for no reason other than general dizziness. Not clever, I admit.

I resisted the call of the karaoke bar afterwards and headed home after spending far too much money during a champagne/burlesque-fuelled trip to Selfridges en route. I realise now that red lacy french knickers and silk panties which tie up at the sides are completely impractical in terms of potential a) VPL and b) total fall-out (gah) but they seemed like a good idea at the time. Needless to say MC is a happy man which I suppose is what it's all about. I have no intention of ever wearing either of them out in public.

I spent Sunday morning in a secret nuclear bunker. Seriously. MC and I were on our way to check out a farm we'd seen ont'telly (we are that shallow - and also they do very good sausages, no euphemism intended) when MC realised that this crazy place he'd heard about was on the way. It is really incredible. It's in the middle of fields and woodland and appears to be deserted - you just wander in, pick up an audio guide and head down this loooooong tunnel to the reinforced steel doors which guard the bunker entrance. The whole thing was designed to keep 600 people alive for 3 months in the event of nuclear war and, scarily, was only decommissioned 13 years ago. The walls are 10 feet thick and it's packed with old equipment - telexes, BBCB computers, a radio studio and clunky mobile phones that I haven't seen since the early 80s. It even contained a rather sinister old fashioned medical bay with basic operating equipment... next to the coffins. Nice touch.

All in all a productive weekend and the last one in quite a while that is truly my own. MC and I have been invited down to stay with his parents next weekend. It will be my inaugural visit and I'm secretly rather nervous. Undoubtedly it will be a weekend of sensible pants and no champagne.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

'sleb spotting

I saw Cheryl Cole and Nicola Roberts from Girls Aloud today. I was leaving a tv studio just as they were walking towards it. She's still hard as nails that Cheryl Cole but really very beautiful in the flesh. And so, so tiny. She was wearing a plain fitted black suit and I swear I could have circled her entire waist in my hands.

Nicola Roberts on the other hand appeared to be going for the Queen Elizabeth I look. Thick white foundation and pantomime red blusher streaked across her cheekbones. Lashings of eyeliner and mascara. So I did the one thing you're never supposed to do when you see famous people in a professional capacity. I gawped. For all the wrong reasons. She looked absolutely frightful. I wish I had a halloween fancy dress party to go to now... she would be such an inspiration.