Wednesday, October 3, 2007

where is everybody?

Damn, I just wrote a whole post and it disappeared. Maybe that's why half of my blog friends seem to have shut up blog and disappeared since I went away. Please come back. There's virtual tumbleweed blowing through

Cornwall was beautiful and Monte Cristo was divine. With the exception of one drunken argument (aren't they always) we got on scarily well - we just really seem to click. Oh and we shared a rather spectacular night of passion in the four poster bed of a hotel room overlooking the sea. It was my bodice-ripping-heroine-in-romantic-novel moment. MC really knows how to make me weak at the knees.

Now that we're back though, real life has begun to bite. The ugly issue of money has raised its head and it's a much bigger deal than I thought it would be. Basically there's a difference in income (with me on top) which bothers him far more than it bothers me. I do of course understand that. But I don't know what the solution is, apart from to nudge him gently in the direction of various job ads. It frustrates him and, I think, makes him feel emasculated - he said the other day that he's scared he'll lose me over it. I reassured him but to be honest I feel frustrated too - I'm not a rich bitch but I earn enough to live comfortably and fund my wine habit, which suits me fine. I don't really want to change my lifestyle but I don't want to leave him out of it either. Its a no-win.


Gretta James said...

You know what in this day and age it really shouldn't be an issue at all!!! Maybe when things get even more serious and the "what's yours is mine" theory kicks in he wont be so bothered - I reckon you should treat him to a psp3 see if he's so bothered then haha.

Gretta x

serendipity said...

Only one spectacular night of passion?! You disappoint me!

Peas on Toast said...

Hello Zu
Glad you had an awesome weekend - sounded very Jane Austeny, which is terribly romantic.

As for the $$$ issue. I've never dealt with this being the underpaid journalist amongst men who have strapping careers in finance and engineering, etc. But I do know that for some reason, men feel threatened about the fact their lady can foot more tabs than they can. I suppose it just comes down to compromise and doing things you both can afford, and perhaps doing the more extravagant stuff with mates instead.
One dude I dated was out of work for a while, and during that time I bought him a shirt as a present. He loved the shirt, but was not helluva comfortable with me buying him stuff during this time. In fact, he got a bit sulky. So perhaps in the meantime, don't splash out on him as much as you want to. I'm sure it'll blow over though, he'll get used to it.

But thus far it sounds like you've found yourself a lovely dude. It looks all healthy and normal from where I'm sitting. You deserve every piece of it. :) xx said...

"It was my bodice-ripping-heroine-in-romantic-novel moment"

Which novel would that be? Just so we can erm... visualise :)

PS: My blog's moved to in case you didn't know!

Revolving Credit said...

If he wants you that badly he'll make a plan.
Either getting over his money issues
(which as a guy can be tough, especially when his mates rag him about it - kinda wears down the ego a bit and breeds a bit of insecurity)
or by being more ambitious and seeking out a job/career that provides a greater income.

Alternatively, you can pay him for sex..hahaha..hire him as your 'night time personal assistant'
Not sure you can afford all the sex you may want...LOL

Mkononi said...

I've never understood the "you earn more so I feel useless" complex. TO be honest though, I've never had to so I can't guarantee I wouldn't feel crap in that situation...

I guess it just means that you need to be a bit sensitive about it, and buy more drinks than he does when you go out. If you always get the first round in, you'll tend to outspend him and he probably won't even notice :)

Welcome back, and well done for finding someone decent.

zuzula said...

Gretta - blimey i don't have that much spare cash sloshing around ;)

Serendipity - oh no, there was definitely more than one. But that one was the most spectacular!

Peas - hey hon. thanks for the support, as always. I really, really want to get this one right.

Almostwitty - I can't keep up with you! Does this mean the livejournal is no more? oh - and you know far more about these kind of books than I do, if memory serves ;)

Rev - yeah, I'm quietly hoping he'll migrate in the direction of a better job. He's working on a freelance thing on the side that, if it comes together, will be amazing. And the job he has gives him enough free time to do that too... but it's not paying yet!

Mkononi - I try to do that as often as possible. But the thing is I can't afford to do it all the time either!

Aimee said...

I have that trouble the other way around. I am, as a result, poor. T'was to be expected, but then, I do have a love of spending.

Try not to worry about it too much. You know as well as I that anything can lie in wait around the corner. Although I do know it's much more complex than that.

Speak soon? I'm off in 10 days!!!!!
xxxxx said...

oh the LiveJournal is still there - you should check it more often! :)

Must drop you an email sometime....

fake adult said...

Glad it was great! My ignorance knows no bounds (though I never did see/read the musical/book/whatever). Tell him to ask Silverfox; a much better situation than being with someone who's up and beyond their ears in debt.

KaBtalk said...

One...yay for the man!
Two...I'm jealous about the getaway with a man...lucky bitch! shouldn't be an issue this early! It's weird how men find the little things in life such BIG issues! Silly really...

Hope all works out for the best!

zuzula said...

Aim - very soon please! I'm coming over on Sunday afternoon - are you around? We should make a plan then for at least 3 nights before you head off!

Almostwitty - I'm on my way over...

FA - but you are fabulous with or without money. i hope you know that x

Kab - thanks! i still can't quite believe I had a romantic minibreak myself. These things just don't happen in Zuzulaville very often!

silverfox said...

It's only money for fuck sake!

Glad you had a rumbling time, sounds a bit fab. I've just gotten back from seeing my folks and was fed to the point of explosion, luckily I got back in one piece although my fake adult had to smash out the door frames so that I could get back into the apartment.....bloody greeks, don't know that term thanks but no thanks!

Ellen said...

Well, all I can say is that my husband dreams of the day I earn more than him... Yeah, not going to happen any time soon.

Honestly, though, it could be a sticking point and you need to see how maturely he handles the money thing as it really is a sign of things to come. The number one reason couples break up is because of money issues.