Monday, January 7, 2008

small world

One of my friends is dating somebody I dated ten years ago. He was a shit to me and he is showing all the signs of being a shit to her too. I'm not sure what the etiquette is, or indeed should be, on dating the crappy exes of one's friends but personally I wouldn't recommend it. While I find it all a bit odd (and honestly, having spent the weekend with my friend I am now in possession of far too much information about what they've been up to in the bedroom), we were an item such a long time ago that I can't muster the energy to be too upset about it.

The one thing that did touch a nerve though, was when she said he'd told her he had always fancied her. That's as may be, but it was ME he went out with, and we were all friends at the time. I don't really like the thought that he was lusting after her while we were hooking up. Especially as she is the gorgeously petite blonde to my more, um, buxom brunette. I simply didn't need to know that. This particular friend was back of the queue when tact was dealt out, although she's hypersensitive about anything concerning her. Maybe we're all a bit like that deep down.

5 comments: said...

I'm hardly an expert, but if your friend was there 10 years ago when you were dating Mr. Crapola and he was crap to you, then at least she's been forewarned and forearmed. But then I guess "great" sex counts for a lot.

and who'd want to date petite blondes? Yech.

fake adult said...

damn blogger just lost my comment so here are the two things i remember (drunk from the wake...):
1: aw is so right; i've met you - you're fucking gorgeous, regardless of how petite and/or blonde your friend is
2: glad you got out when you did, and that you have your thing with mc
3: i can't count (still), but i think your last line is so true

Peas on Toast said...

Hi babe

Firstly, I think not only is your ex still a shit, I think your friend is a bit of a shit too. She really, really really shouldn't have told you ANY of that personal stuff. There are some lines that shouldn't be crossed, when it comes to ex sharing.

Trust me, I know. Johannesburg is the capital of Ex Sharing. For one, no matter how much time has passed, you were still very intimate with him. Telling you about the bedroom stuff is actually completely disrespectful. It makes me a little angry to be honest. Then the icing on the cake had to be the "he fancied me the whole time" statement. She knew you were with him and you were all friends - how does she expect you to process such information?

Perhaps to keep the "friend" in friendship, I'd reckon you guys either come to an agreement about not getting personal about her new boyfriend, or otherwise save the hectic information.

I mean, if you turned this around, and insisted on telling her how great your monkey sex was with him on the kitchen table that one time, she'd also be hurt.

She'll also learn in good time about his shitty ways. Once a shit, always a shit. I've seen that with one of my ex's lately too. Good luck!

zuzula said...

AW - i guess so. but she seems to have forgotten just how much of a shit he was to me (I did however remind her.couldn't help myself!)

FA - why thank you gorgeous xx

Peas - yeah, there is some kind of kharma in that I think. I had a semi-abusive relationship for a couple of years which I know we've talked about before... then about a year ago I bumped into someone he dated after me, who told me she thought he had pyschiatric problems because he had such a temper. I didn't want to discuss it with her but I did feel vindicated.

The Blonde Blogshell said...

I'm sure theres a law somewhere that says "Thou shalt NOT date a friends ex, no matter how many years there art!" Chin up gorgeous! Oh and Here's a CRAPPY FRIEND AWARD you can hand over!