I spent a good few days quietly convincing myself that persistent breast pain was the Worst Case Scenario before finally confiding in MC. He persuaded me to go to the doctor who, after a very thorough examination, informed me that said pain is a result of 'trauma'. Poor traumatised boob (don't panic, it's just a little bruised. But God is it painful). Having not been to the doctor for about 10 years I now find myself going, for the third time in as many months, with symptoms that scream I AM HAVING SEX! Either that or I HAVE A STRANGE SEXUAL FASCINATION WITH DOCTORS. Gulp.
Still this doctor was much better than the last one, who was if anything even more mortified than I was at the prospect of having to examine me. He could barely look me in the eye, let alone anywhere else. No, this one was much more pleasant. Although right at the end of the consultation he asked me what I did for a living. I told him I was a journalist and his eyes widened in panic. But knowing he'd seen what he'd seen, I was in no mood to launch any investigations of my own.