Thursday, October 23, 2008

Lingerie logic

I’ve just received an email from John Lewis department store cannily offering a pre-Christmas ‘gentleman’s lingerie academy’ in order to help hapless males find the perfect seasonal present for their beloveds. The store is basically offering beer and giftwrap to lure in the menfolk – which is pretty much what we ladies do all year round to reel in the boys ourselves.

Their press release, somewhat impressively considering the subject matter and the intended audience, is about 10,000 words long. I’ll spare you all that though - the two bits of most useful advice, IMHO, are these, and I present them as a service to all readers of this blog hoping to please the ladies (it might even get you an extra shag this Christmas, who knows?)

1. Buying lingerie for your partner can be a minefield of unintended suggestions, and sizing is the most important thing to get right – a thong three sizes too big could suggest that your lady’s bottom does look big in this. So, if you haven’t remembered to check the size she wears, bear in mind that it is probably better to buy a size too small than risk offending your partner. Silk nightwear such as negligees and kimono style wraps are an excellent get-out clause that will never disappoint.
(hear, hear)

2. While checking her size, it is also worth noting what sort of lingerie your partner likes to wear – is she a sporty type, glamour puss, everyday Miss Practical or perhaps she has an entire lingerie wardrobe! Our Lingerie Advisers can guide and help you to decipher the different styles of lingerie from full cup, padded, balconette to plunge, underwired to multiway.
(as the recipient of a few teeny weeny bits of flimsy see-thru fluffy things in my time, I support this too. That said, there is a time and a place for everything, and a bumper pack of black cotton briefs simply ain’t gonna cut it at Christmas)

It’s that simple. MC, are you reading this…? ;)

6 comments:

Grace said...

Lols....

Maybe you should put together a Christmas list as well :-P x

Mkononi said...

I *always* get the size right, but I *always* get the type wrong.

zuzula said...

Grace - you know, that's a great idea... ;)

Mkononi - it's not easy! The stuff that looks the sexiest is usually the hardest to actually wear ;)

almostwitty.com said...

See, I always thought getting lingerie for the gf would be an incredibly sleazy thing to do, pretty much saying "There are tons of things I know you'd want for Christmas, but I thought I'd get you a flimsy bra which will make you look pretty [because right now, frankly, you look a bit of a hag] for about ten seconds so I can lust after you before I shag you for five seconds"

Shows how much I know *sigh*

almostwitty.com said...

Oh erm... when is it? :P

Being Brazen said...

heehee - thats a clever idea. I think they should help men buy lingerie here.