So, tomorrow I am going to make my first film. It's for the web and if I have my way it will only be 2 minutes long. I want to film this thing in the same place where we film the tv show - ie in the tv studio. Easy, non?
Non indeed. First, I need a film permit. A film permit to film inside a tv studio. Pardon me, but what else would I possibly want to do in there except film stuff? Isn't that kind of the entire point of a studio in the first place? But fine, I grit my teeth and fill in the form.
Next, the risk assessment. What could possibly go wrong during this 2 minute studio shoot and what am I going to do about it? There's a tick list. Is there a possibility that there will be a lack of oxygen? Venomous bites? Or, perhaps my favourite, bad communication from management? (Par for the course surely). Wtf. I find myself writing something about promising to ensure there aren't any cables lying around and wishing I'd never decided to do the stupid film in the first place.
Then, there's the cameraman. Are his lamps safety tested? I really am losing the will to live. I think I might just write something instead of filming it. At least I wouldn't have to risk assess my biro and notebook... Yet.